like saying goodbye to a old friend and the mental battle of winter

Ok bit of a dramatic title but the P4 has gone , what a great bike its been and will continue to be for the new owner .
things are changing so fast its hard to keep up .
I was looking yesterday at some of my racing photos and cant believe how much everything has changed , for example the photo at the top of the blog , the only items to servive from last year to 2015 will be the sram R2C shifters and the smart aero overshoes , and the speedplay pedals , everything else from bike all the way down to the wheel skewers are different , as well as skinsuit and helmet and even shoes have all been looked at and changed .
i was going to do a list of what we ran then to what im running now and a reason why but that might give alittle to much away , but its great to look at the details and see where you can improve .
really hope to get a wind tunnel session in next year and get some solid data on where everything is at and back up on what Andy and i will aero test as the weeks go on .
Bike science are just in the middle of a move to a swanky new store at the top of whiteladies road in bristol so testing has slowed down a touch understandably ,but its not all about the testing of everything , ive got to make sure im doing everything right and putting the effort in to make it all happen , no point in getting the kit spot on and the man riding it is not up to scratch .
I should imagine like most i hit abit of a wall as the wether started turning from warmer than it should be and plenty of sun , to either rain or cold and dark when you know the sessions are going to be that much harder . this was when i realised how much difference having the support of a coach like matt was really going o make the difference to having that seed in the back of your mind telling you that you could possibly do it but do you want it bad enough , and knowing in your head its going to happen and nothing can stop you .
i had a few sessions when i was feeling tired and almost looking for a reason to cut it short and justify it , i was leaving for sessions 30 mins later than normal as i was pottering around at home not chomping at the bit to get out there and smash it .
This is somewhere i had been before in my first year racing and it seemed to run a pattern of failed sessions and under porformed rides which just leads to finding it harder to get out there and do it , which when your a very highly motivated person who puts everything into everything you do ,is a very slippery path and usually leads to me being a grumpy ass then getting ill and missing a week on the bike .
i messaged matt and got the reply of lets back it off its november we dont want to kill you off , which is pretty much the spot on answer, but i wasnt worn down from the training the battle was all in my head . and this was the eureka moment , i had to question how bad did i want it , this was when i looked at what we had already achieved , what we had planned and the faith people had put in me and there belief in what could be achieved .
my thought then wasnt to even question if i wanted it , more of " lets back it off a tad " was "maybe you havent got what it takes " in my warped way of thinking .
and that was that instant flip from struggling to right back to top of my game and motivation back to maximum .people say you dont need a coach you can find alot of training plans on thew internet , i say its the whole package not just the plan you get on paper , i even managed to do some tough sessions on the turbo which is my ultimate nemisis and the place that sucks motivation straight out of me , holding my position for the full period which is something ive never done .
in the words of the great arnie " the body is important but the mind is more so " and on that note all thats left to say is "i'll be back !!"