signing off

So 2015 is done race wise and probably the best way to describe it was “challenging “.

Let’s start at the beginning, this was my 3^rd full season of doing anything on the bike, a few wise people had told me when I started racing it will take 4-5 years to hit peak but I was sure it would be this year.

Winter went well, I felt ready and confident I had been with matt for a few months now and the training was progressing well. I had started looking at over areas of improvement and planning in a few early races.

The first race of the year came and a delay in my tt bike for the year had left me on a replacement that had been kindly lent to me by bike science but I just couldn’t get my desired position on and that when the frustrations kicked in and the confidence I had built over winter started showing cracks, cracks I would never really recover from.

It would be late June before I got the new bike sorted and ready to race and a while longer before I had everything the way I wanted. The months up to June where scattered with DNS out of 11 races I entered I only raced 5 ,I managed a win a second and a few 3rds but was way off the pace I knew I had and that added to the frustration .

First race on the new bike the day after getting everything sorted I knocked 19 seconds off my course pb I set on a good day on the P4 last year so that gave me a glimmer of hope that this was turnaround time and with the F11/10 up a week later it was a great time to go pb chasing.

The F11 was a good day and early times suggested a fast day despite a bit of rain, I had that spark again and was excited to race, about 10 mins before my warm up was due to start the news came back about an accident on the course and before I knew it I was going back down the motorway for the long drive home.

This was followed by a puncture on a 2 lap 50 tt course that I was leading by over 2 minutes after the fast lap and a race that I didn’t get a great result but a picture told a thousand words.

We had done some work at the Newport velodrome trying to set up a good position on the TTE, on the track I had a strong position and the numbers looked good. On the road this wasn’t the case, the problem was that I had been riding really head down on the track following the black line intently due to my lack of confidence on my first track visit, once this transferred to the road I might as well of attached a parachute to my back as I was sitting so high and open to see where I was going it was costing me huge time , chatting to a rider after about power for the day I could see something was really wrong and I needed to make changes.

A 50 right before the national 100 was next up and the change of position got me a course and 50tt pb despite the conditions being way off the previous year which stuck me in a confident but unsure mood for the 100.the new position meant I was a tad down on power but a 9^th at a national event in my first 100 was probably the highlight of the year. This was followed by further knocking down my course pb on a local course and going 54 seconds faster than last year and getting close to a course record on a lumpy course that I wouldn’t normally consider riding.

It was getting there, it was far from spot on but I knew the things that we could work on but was very reluctant to change anything when everything was improving for fear of going backwards again.

A week before the national 25 illness struck, I had been pretty lucky all year with illness and I was determined to push on and not let it slow me down, illness won and the national 25 was a mixture of being sick and trying not to be sick, a respectable 23^rd but it had taken a lot out of me. I tried to push on in the following weeks training knowing a lay off now would be a disaster. I pushed on a felt better hitting the welsh 10 champs a few weeks later and knocked out a 19 on the r10/17 and a power pb for the year , followed by a course power pb a few days later, only to be hit with illness again and this time I was off the bike and really looking for the end of the season to come.

I didn’t even ride the national 10 , I was feeling weak and with the poor conditions I just wasn’t going to risk getting ill again, the small bit of confidence I had scrambled back was again hanging by a thread and a mechanical at the next race didn’t help that.

The welsh 50 champs was a case of just ride, I was down on power for the day and struggling , I got 2^nd somehow but was a mile off the flying Kieron Davis .

Three races to go and another chance to get on the F11/10 , I hadn’t rode any of the really fast courses this year and this was my final chance, conditions were looking nice and although I wasn’t feeling my best I knew there was a very good chance of knocking my PB down. This wasn’t to be and the race was cancelled the day before, I had picked up a bit of a niggling back injury at work and had missed a few training sessions and that was that 2015 done and another forced week off the bike.

If anything this year I’ve learnt a lot , and winter has the chance to address these things, I put way to much pressure on myself this year and when things didn’t go to plan it ultimately lead to my demise. “You learn the hard way” they say and that has been the case but they also say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger “. I need to learn to enjoy the racing again and take what I do in training onto the bike on race day. I know what I have to do over winter and how to improve with the help of the key people who have helped me get through 2015 and kept faith in me when on paper results only tell a very small percentage of the story.

So on to 2016 a lot wiser and better prepared, I can’t thank enough Nopinz ,Blake Pond , jersey pocket,bike science ,James Whiting,Will Mangar from  indurance for their great support in 2015. Biggest thanks goes to Matt Bottrill for showing me the right way to train and how to look at the long game and the bigger  picture that will send me into next year ready when a small part of me wanted to run away, along with my family who are always behind me no matter how hard work I am. it leave me with the thought , the difference between success and failure is the people you have behind you giving you support when you even doubt yourself a little bit .